Maybe, Maybe Not
by Zayz
Summary: [LJ Oneshot] James and Lily nitpick at any fault the other makes the mistake of exposing. Of course, a bit of a disaster is expected. R&R?


**Maybe, Maybe Not**

_A/N: This is my first dialogue-only one-shot for James and Lily. It's not as long as it seems – it goes pretty fast. I hope you like it!_

J: Hey Lily.

L: Bye James.

J: Hey, that isn't nice!

L: So? What's your point?

J: You are so cruel.

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me.

L: Nope.

J: Great, we could get some – wait, what?

L: I said no.

J: But why?

L: I don't like you.

J: Why not?

L: I think the question here is, why _would_ I like you?

J: Because I'm smart, funny, athletic, and have dashing good looks.

L: As well as an overly large ego.

J: Well, that's one of the side effects of being as great as I am.

L: You disgust me.

J: Hey, not nice!

L: …

J: Okay, so maybe I deserved that.

L: Maybe?

J: Do you always have to crush my spirits?

L: I have to get entertainment somehow, don't I?

J: Why do you get so much delight out of my pain?

L: Why do you get so much delight in asking me out every five seconds?

J: Why do you always get so happy when you say no?

L: Why do you pester me all the time?

J: Why do you always blow off my efforts, forcing me to try again and again?

L: Why can't you get a life?

J: Why can't you say yes?

L: Why can't you stop asking questions and go away?

J: Why do you always have to have an answer for everything?

L: Why do you never know that answer?

J: Why do you have to be so brainy?

L: Why do you have to be so stupid?

J: Erm…erm…

L: Ha. I win. And this was the guy who claimed to be smart earlier…

J: You only won because I let you!

L: Did I? How noble of you.

J: Yeah it was!

L: Idiot.

J: Smarty-pants.

L: Immature imbecile.

J: Imbe-what?

L: Imbecile – it means an idiotic person.

J: Oh…ha, I knew that.

L: I'm sure you did.

J: Now can you please stop playing word games and go out with me?

L: Quite honestly, you're lucky I even stuck around for the word games.

J: You love me, that's why you stayed.

L: Hardly. I just needed someone to goad because I'm frustrated right now.

J: Well, that's really nice – go and make fun of someone just because you're in a bad mood. Now what are you frustrated about? You might as well tell me while you're here.

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: Can't you just tell me?

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: I'm only trying to help!

L: How thoughtful. Now go away.

J: Lils, I'm madly in love with you – if you tell me, I'll give you a kiss.

L: Even more incentive for me not to tell you. You really aren't too bright, are you?

J: I am; it's just that when I'm with you – the girl I love – it's kind of hard to keep my wits together.

L: Good save. I'd say a seven out of ten.

J: You're horrible.

L: Then why do you love me?

J: Because it works on you.

L: Have you been studying how to save yourself from bad situations or something?

J: Maybe, maybe not.

L: Don't steal my line, you worthless twit.

J: Ouch! That hurt my feelings, Lil.

L: Wanna know what else hurts?

J: OW! Why did you kick me in the shin, damn it?!

L: Because I wanted to.

J: Why did you want to?

L: For entertainment, why else? Geez, you're even more off than usual today.

J: And you're grumpier than usual.

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: What happened? What made you so annoyed?

L: Well, you, for one thing. The other was because I caught my best friend snogging my boyfriend a few minutes ago. I broke up with him, obviously, but the moment I did, they snogged again.

J: What a bastard.

L: I know. It was stupid to date him.

J: If I was your boyfriend, I'd never do that to you.

L: Of course you won't.

J: No, seriously! I'd never break your heart. I'd marry you, live with you for years and years, have lots of kids with you, and die with you.

L: That sounds like a fate worse than death itself.

J: Haha. Funny. But I have a question for you.

L: Really? Wow, I never would have expected that from you, James Potter, the smartest thing in the universe.

J: Cut the crap, Lily; it's not funny anymore. My question is – if you didn't just break up with your boyfriend, would you still have been so rude about going out with me?

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: Give me a straight answer. Now.

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: Lily.

L: James.

J: Just give me a straight answer, please.

L: Fine. Probably.

J: An _honest_, straight answer, if you will.

L: Oh, all right. Maybe I wouldn't have been so harsh on you.

J: YES! She totally loves me.

L: NO! She can totally hear you and she doesn't!

J: One can dream.

L: One can try to give you a reality check. You could use one.

J: Don't be nasty. I know the truth now.

L: And the award for Constantly Stating the Obvious goes to…James Potter!

J: That's not funny.

L: It's not meant to be – it was supposed to be truthful.

J: …

L: You do state the obvious! Is that my fault?

J: Yes.

L: Ignoramus.

J: Prat.

L: Arse.

J: Show-off.

L: Asinine fool.

J: Over-achiever.

L: Moron.

J: Perfect, beautiful Lily Evans.

L: Now how can I argue with that logic?

J: You were supposed to compliment me back.

L: Why would I do that?

J: We insult each other, and then we compliment each other. And you said _I_ was the dumb one…

L: You are. But I'm never going to compliment you. The closest you're going to get to a compliment is me calling you a troll.

J: How is that a compliment?

L: You don't know what other names I had in mind.

J: Why do you always have to be so vicious and aggressive?

L: It's the only way to get rid of you; if I'm mean enough, you go away.

J: You know what I think?

L: I don't think I want to; I'd probably lose IQ points.

J: Well, I think that you are secretly in love with me and are afraid of it.

L: Oh? Is that what you think?

J: Yup.

L: Here's what I think of that.

J: OWWW! Why'd you twist my wrist?! That's my Quidditch arm!

L: You'd better think twice before you give me your so-called logic.

J: All right, all right…vicious much?

L: Yup. Now leave me alone before you really discover the meaning of pain.

J: You're the only girl I've ever met that has said something so threatening to me.

L: Well, hell hath no wrath like that of a woman.

J: Are you a woman or a human Cruciatus Curse?

L: Hmm…let's see.

J: STOP HITTING ME!

L: Then stop insulting me.

J: _Me_?! Insulting _you_?!

L: Yes.

J: …

L: I hate you.

J: I know.

L: Then can you go away?

J: Maybe, maybe not.

L: Stop stealing my line!

J: DON'T KICK ME!

L: Don't steal my line!

J: You have to stop stealing my heart first.

L: …

J: Don't look at me like that.

L: Then don't talk to me like that.

J: Kiss me and be done with it, Evans.

L: Never.

J: Come on – just one kiss.

L: I'd rather kiss an octopus.

J: I probably taste better than one.

L: I doubt it.

J: Want to test it out?

L: No.

J: Please?

L: No way.

J: How about we make a deal? If you kiss me, I'll do any one thing for you – including leaving you alone forever. You won't ever have to speak to me again if you kiss me just this once.

L: As tempting as that sounds – your not speaking to me, that is – I'm not sure if I should agree.

J: What do you have to lose?

L: My dignity. My pride. My reputation.

J: Come on – please?

L: Oh, all right. Then you have to spare me the bother of talking to you if I kiss you.

J: Okay. Sure. Deal.

L: Fine. Come here.

**A Couple of Minutes Later**

J: I assume you want me to leave you alone, now that I have my kiss.

L: I had a choice of any one thing, didn't I?

J: Yeah.

L: Then I want you to kiss me again.

J: Seriously?

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: Can I go with maybe?

L: Maybe, maybe not.

J: Can I take that as a yes?

L: Oh, all right.

J: Wait, so I can kiss you again? For real?

L: After you ask such stupid questions, I don't even know why I like you.

J: So I was right? You liked me?

L: Can you stop your yapping and kiss me already?

J: Maybe, maybe not.

L: Do you want to be in pain again?

J: No. I think I'd like to kiss you.

L: THEN DO IT ALREADY!

_A/N: And, I am pleased to report that he did. :) I hope you liked the story and will review!_


End file.
